decision maker

At first glance, directing is to be surrounded. Meetings, dinners, conferences, committees … A leader meets dozens, sometimes hundreds of people every week. However, many of them bear witness to a deep feeling of loneliness.

A loneliness all the more paradoxical as it does not come from a lack of contact, but from a lack of truth.

Because the more we go up, the more we receive filtered words. Silences are multiplying, words polish, opinions calibrate to please or avoid displeasing. And, over time, a leader can find himself in a bubble of illusions, cut off from what he nevertheless needs to know: raw reality.

“Truth, for a leader, is a rare luxury”says François D., founder of an industrial group of 3,000 employees. “” I can have ten meetings per day, but if no one really tells me what’s going on on the field, I make my decisions in the fog. »»

Why does no one dare to speak?

The mechanisms that isolate a leader are both social and psychological.

1/ Asymmetry of power.

A boss remains, whatever he says, the one who signs contracts, decides on promotions … or departures. Even in an “open” environment, this hierarchy influences exchanges. The fear of disappointing, creating a conflict or putting your career in danger pushes a lot to water their words.

2/ The self-censorship of relatives.

This phenomenon does not only affect employees. Family, friends, partners … Some avoid sensitive subjects for fear of “adding pressure” or “weighing the atmosphere”. Paradoxically, the more appreciated the decision maker, the more isolation is strengthening.

3/ Ivory tower syndrome.

Over the years, a leader can find himself in a parallel universe, punctuated by agendas, VIP meetings, business trips. A life that gradually takes away from the daily realities of its teams or customers.

4/ The unconscious filter of employees.

Even without the intention of manipulating, each hierarchical level tends to present an “optimized” version of the facts. Minor problems are hidden, bad news delayed. Result: what happens to the summit is often an embellished reality.

The consequences of this bubble

Do not have access to the truth has a cost. An invisible, but heavy cost.

• Beed decisions: if the data or testimonies received are incomplete, the strategy can be based on false bases.
• Risk of blindness: many corporate crises could have been avoided if the weak signals had been raised in time.
• Emotional isolation: beyond performance, loneliness weakens the person’s personal balance, increases stress and can lead to burnout.
• Loss of confidence: when a leader discovers too late that reality was different from what was brought to him, the breakdown of confidence is brutal.

“What uses the most is not to work a lot is to work in doubt”summarizes Claire L., ex-CEO in the retail sector.

How to break isolation?

If the solitude of the decision -maker is partly inevitable, it is not inevitable. Here are the levers identified by those who have managed to recreate an authentic link with reality

1/ Create a circle of confidence “excluding hierarchy”

A small group of people – not necessarily in the company – capable of speaking without filter. This may include a mentor, a former colleague, an entrepreneurial friend, even a coach. The important thing: that they have no direct interest in decisions, to avoid complacency.

2/ Establish direct channels with the land

Boxes of anonymous ideas, informal lunches, surprise visits, participation in operational meetings … The goal is to obtain raw feedback, before they are diluted.

3/ Value the franchise

Publicly reward those who dare to say what is wrong. Show, by acts, that going up a problem does not cause sanctions, but on the contrary, opens solutions.

4/ Practice active listening

This means not only ask questions, but also welcome the answer without immediate judgment, even if it disturbs. A simple “Thank you for your franchise” may be enough to encourage free speech.

5/ Inform

Participate in groups of entrepreneurs, read negative online reviews, request an external audit … Better a preventive slap than a surprise collapse.

Truth as a strategic active

In an uncertain, volatile environment, where weak signals can decide on the fate of a business, the truth becomes a strategic asset.

A leader capable of receiving complete information – including unpleasant – makes better decisions, inspires more confidence and avoids unnecessary crises.

“You cannot be a good captain if the crew is afraid of reporting the holes in the hull,” summarizes a managing director of the maritime sector.

The truth is not always comfortable. She can shake up the ego, question past choices, slow down projects. But it protects, in the long term, much better than illusion.

What if loneliness became a force?

It would be naive to believe that a leader can completely escape loneliness. There will always be times when he will have to decide alone, bring burdens that no one else can understand.

But this loneliness can also become a space of lucidity, decline, reflection.

By learning to populate her good voices – those who speak true – she ceases to be a desert and becomes a privileged observation post.

Because, basically, it is not the absence of a world that isolates a leader. It is the absence of truth.