At 38, Marc smiled politely when his friends tell him that he has “succeeded”. A management position in a large company, a bright apartment in the city center, a united family … on paper, success is indisputable. But in the silence of his metro journeys, Marc feels strangely emptied. “I checked all the boxes … And yet, I no longer want anything,” he says, almost embarrassed.
This feeling, discreet but powerful, has a name: the fatigue of the winners. A paradoxical state where the expected success, celebrated by others, is accompanied by an inner vacuum, a loss of meaning, sometimes even a deep exhaustion.
A taboo in performance culture
We live in an era when we are told that everything is possible by dint of work and determination. “Success Stories” are highlighted, motivation speeches on social networks. However, little talk about the aftermath, of this strange descending slope which can follow a summit.
“We glorify ascent, never landing”summarizes clinical psychologist Claire Béraud, specialist in life transitions. According to her, the fatigue of the winners is “Widely underestimated”because it goes against the dominant story: that according to which achieving its objectives is synonymous with lasting happiness.
In society, daring to say that one feels empty after a success is almost ungrateful. “We are afraid of judgment: how to complain when we have what so many people dream of having?” »»she adds.
Signs that do not deceive
This fatigue rarely manifests itself by brutal depression. She is insidiously settled, sometimes over several months. The people concerned describe:
- A loss of momentum: the lack of desire for new projects.
- Physical weariness despite a normal state of health.
- A drop in motivation even for usually pleasant activities.
- A feeling of gap between the image that others have of them and their inner feelings.
For some, like Marc, this discrepancy creates guilt: “I feel like I am cheating on everyone. They congratulate me, but I just dream of stopping. »»
Why does that happen? The psychological mechanism
To reaching a major objective is often the fruit of several years of effort. During this period, the individual lives in a state of productive tension: he advances, he projects himself, he fights. This energy is fueled by the anticipation of the reward.
“But when the finish line is crossed, adrenaline falls”explains the psychiatrist and researcher in neuroscience Laurent Goujon. “It’s a bit like a high -level sportsman after a competition: body and mind suddenly find themselves without a clear goal, and this can create a vacuum state. »»
From a neurological point of view, the circuits of dopamine – neurotransmitter linked to motivation – were stimulated throughout the progress phase. Once the objective is reached, this stimulation is interrupted, causing a fall in psychic energy.
More frequent testimonies than you think
Sophie, a 42-year-old entrepreneur, lived this experience after sold her start-up for a substantial sum. “I thought it would be freedom. But after two months to travel, I started to get bored. It was frightening. I had spent ten years running … and I didn’t know why. »»
Same phenomenon for Karim, 29, gold medalist at the European Judo Championships: “The week that followed was the party. Then … nothing. I woke up wondering what it was all for. »»
These stories are found in very different fields – sport, affairs, art, academic career -, a sign that the phenomenon largely exceeds contexts.
When success is physically exhausting
The fatigue of the victors is not just a state of mind. She also has physical repercussions. Some develop sleep disorders, others diffuse pain or increased sensitivity to infections. The body, long in tension, suddenly releases the pressure.
“It’s a bit like the organization said:” It’s good, mission accomplished, I can finally collapse “”observes Dr. Béraud. Hence the importance of recognizing this state and not confusing it with laziness or a lack of discipline.
The weight of the eyes of others
One of the heaviest aspects of this fatigue is the impossibility of speaking of it freely. Admitting that we feel empty after having “succeeded” can arouse incomprehension, even annoyance. Relatives often answer: “But you should be happy!” »»
This lack of listening accentuates isolation. Some people then prefer to put on a social mask, continuing to appear enthusiastic while feeling exhausted internally. A behavior which, in the long term, risks aggravating psychological wear.
Restore meaning: the tracks that work
Getting out of the fatigue of the winners does not mean placing everything. Rather, it is a question of reconstructing a personal meaning, apart from external expectations. Psychologists offer several levers:
1/ Accept the hollow phase
The first step is to admit that this vacuum is normal after an intense effort. It is a natural cycle, not a personal failure.
2/ Recall yourself in simple activities
Walking, cooking, tinkering, spending time without productive objective … These moments reconnect at a more organic pace, far from the pressure of the big goals.
3/ Explore new sources of motivation
It is not a question of leaving in a frantic quest, but of identifying projects which bring intrinsic pleasure, without external pressure.
4/ Share your feeling with a safe circle
Talking about it to a confidence friend, a coach or a therapist helps break up isolation and normalize the experience.
5/ Give time
Unlike the ascent towards an objective, which is often timed, interior reconstruction has no deadline. And maybe that’s it, the most difficult to accept.
A necessary culture change
Basically, the fatigue of the winners highlights a broader problem: our society values the result more than the path. “We confuse success and sustainable satisfaction”estimates the sociologist Pierre Vanier. “We should learn to celebrate processes, efforts, learning, not just the medals and deals concluded. »»
Some companies are starting to integrate this reflection, by supporting their employees after the realization of major projects. In high -level sport, we also see the emergence of retraining and preparation programs for “after”.
What if the real success was elsewhere?
For Marc, our 30 -year -old executive, the turning point came one morning when he had a coffee on his balcony. “I said to myself: everything I have, I can lose it. But what I feel there, this void is an alert. »» He began to redevelop his schedule, to refuse certain projects, to put himself in photography, just for fun.
Sophie, the entrepreneur, has decided to create a foundation to support young creators. “It was not planned, but it gave me a course. »»
These trajectories show that the fatigue of the winners is not a dead end. It can become a starting point, for a less spectacular, but more intimate success.
In summary
The fatigue of the winners is an unknown but widespread phenomenon, where the achievement of major objectives gives way to a feeling of emptiness and exhaustion. It follows as many biological mechanisms as cultural pressures, and is overcome by acceptance, self -reconnection and the redefinition of personal sense.
Basically, perhaps “having succeeded” is not only measured in trophies or titles … but in the ability to feel alive after obtaining them.
