The ego is a strange beast. It is often caricature as a monster to be killed, a defect of character that would make the most solid. But among leaders, he plays a much more complex role: both fuel and delay bomb. In pivotal moments – decisive negotiations, corporate crises, power transitions – it can propel to the audacity … or precipitate the fall. How, then, tame this ego without stifling it, so that it serves rather that it does not devour?
Ego, this unfortunate engine included
In psychology, the ego is not only vanity or pride. It is the center of gravity of our identity: the way we perceive ourselves and want to be perceived. For a leader, he is often shaped by years of successes, won battles and public recognition.
“The ego is what pushes us to take up challenges that others would consider impossible”explains Sylvie Arnaud, leadership coach. “Without a minimum of ego, no business manager would dare to raise millions of euros or try to transform an entire sector.”
But this engine can be deregulated. Too swollen, he blind; Too compressed, he stifles confidence. The real difficulty is to maintain the right pressure.
When the ego propels
In the growth or innovation phases, a well -calibrated ego acts as a catalyst. It gives the strength to face ambient skepticism, to keep the course despite the criticism.
Recent history is full of examples. Elon Musk, often criticized for his untimely statements, built SpaceX and Tesla, openly defying the opinions of established experts. Without an unshakable conviction of his vision – what some call arrogance – these companies would probably never have seen the light of day.
Even logic at Anne Lauvergeon, ex-president of Areva, who claimed her ability to “stand up” to the most powerful interlocutors. “I have often been criticized for my ego, but it was also he who allowed me to defend strategic projects for France”she confided in an interview.
In these cases, the ego acts as a shield against the fear of failure and social pressure. It allows you to dare where others retreat.
When the Ego destroys
But the same spring can turn against the one who trusts blindly. The leaders who confuse their identity with their post or their successes run a major risk: that of refusing any questioning.
An example that has become classic in business schools is that of the fall of Nokia. In the 2000s, the Finnish company dominated the mobile phones market. But his management, convinced of his technological superiority, underestimated the arrival of the iPhone and Android smartphones. The denial, fueled by a collective ego, delayed the adaptation – and opened the way to a spectacular tumble.
More recently, several highly publicized French start-ups have imploded due to leaders unable to admit their strategic errors. In each case, the scenario is similar: refusal to listen to weak signals, concentration of decisions in a limited circle, and progressive isolation with regard to reality.
“When a leader begins to think that he is the brand, he becomes vulnerable”analysis Philippe Morel, specialist in governance. “At this point, any questioning of the strategy is experienced as a personal attack.”
The invisible ego: the one that is not suspected
We imagine the ego as a noisy presence, but he also knows how to hide. Some leaders present themselves as modest, even erased, but their ego acts behind the scenes.
For example, it manifests itself in the need to please at all costs, even if it means avoiding unpopular decisions. Or in the desire to be perceived as a “Savior” which extinguishes fires, even if it maintains a culture of dependence.
In these cases, the ego is not expressed by great shine but by a discreet control of the image and interactions. There is nonetheless a decision -making factor.
Tame your ego without losing your inner fire
The leaders who manage to “survive themselves” share a common point: they do not seek to suppress their ego, but to domesticate it.
Several practices regularly return to their testimonies:
- The brutal mirror: surround yourself with people capable of telling the truth, even (especially) when it disturbs. Not just official advisers, but various voices, from the company and the outside.
- Role/person dissociation: Remember that the function does not entirely define the individual. Professional failure does not question personal value.
- Strategic breathing: regularly take a step back, for example via pensions, mentoring or informal exchanges with peers. This time out of action makes it possible to put the challenges into perspective and reduce excessive identification with the role.
- The decision -making newspaper: record major decisions, the reasons that motivate them and the associated doubts. Reread these notes after a few months helps to spot the moments when the ego took over – and correcting the shot.
- Humor as an antidote: knowing how to laugh at oneself, even (and above all) during a period of tension, defuses the narcissistic drifts and brings the team to a healthier dynamic.
Key moments: Ego to the test
Some situations test the ego more than others.
- The crisis: when the company is in difficulty, the reflex can be to tighten control and rule out divergent opinions. The most resilient leaders know how to share responsibility and recognize their limits.
- Sudden success: paradoxically, rapid success can inflate the ego to the point of weakening vigilance. Experienced leaders keep in mind that the cycles are turning quickly.
- The succession: to pass the relay is one of the biggest challenges for the ego. Accepting not being essential requires real emotional maturity.
- Public confrontation: Faced with the media, shareholders or authorities, the ego can push to “save the face” rather than telling the truth. The long -term respected leaders are those who favor transparency, even when it costs.
Inner fire: what should not turn off
Some fear that by “mastering” their ego, they lose this combative energy which brought them to the top. But taming does not mean neutralizing.
The ego, in its healthy form, gives the conviction necessary to defend unpopular ideas, negotiate in the face of more powerful, or hold the course in the storm. The objective is not to erase it, but to channel it towards objectives which exceed the simple preservation of the personal image.
As Michel Serres sums it up in Petite Poucette: “It is not the ego which is bad, it is its confinement on itself. He becomes noble when he puts himself at the service of the common.”
